What Managers Don’t Understand About Modern Leadership

Key Takeaways

• Releasing the need to have all the answers frees leaders from unnecessary pressure and creates space for shared ownership.
  
• A control mindset exhausts leaders and diminishes team energy, while curiosity energises both.
  
• Curiosity is a practical leadership advantage, not a soft skill – it builds trust and resilience in teams.
  
• Better questions spark better outcomes, from innovation to engagement, across every level of leadership.
  
• Daily practices rooted in curiosity shift leadership from controlling to co-creating, leading to more sustainable success.

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It’s 11 p.m., and a department head is hunched over their laptop, reworking the team’s plan for the third time this week. They’re a high-performing leader used to being the go-to problem solver. Yet behind that all-knowing façade is a tired mind and a tight knot of anxiety. Many leaders can relate to this human moment – the pressure to have every answer, to never let their guard down. The irony? Trying to control every aspect isn’t making things better. In fact, employees’ trust in leadership is at rock bottom – only 21% strongly agree that they trust their organization’s leaders. Modern leadership requires a different strength. The real strategic advantage today isn’t micromanaging every detail; it’s cultivating a mindset of curiosity. Curiosity isn’t some fluffy notion – it’s a sustainable shift in approach that builds trust, lowers stress, and leads to better outcomes. Leaders who dare to say “I don’t know – what do you think?” often find that the sky doesn’t fall. Instead, their teams step up. The weight of having to be infallible lifts, genuine dialogue begins, and everyone sleeps a little easier.

Why needing all the answers is a leadership trap

High achievers often feel an acute pressure to present the perfect plan at all times. If you’re a manager or founder, you’ve likely felt that pang of “I have to know everything – or else.” The intention is noble: you want to protect your team and stay ahead of problems. But the outcome can be a tightly wound environment where new ideas suffocate. When leaders insist on having all the answers, teams get the message that deviation isn’t safe. This breeds hesitation and groupthink. 

Over time, the obsession with certainty creates a culture of risk-aversion – people stick to safe bets and old methods rather than suggest bold innovations. The data bears this out: despite lip service to “out-of-the-box” thinking, a Harvard study found that most leaders actually stifle curiosity, and in a survey of 3,000 employees only about 24% reported regularly feeling curious in their jobs, roughly 70% said they face barriers to asking questions at work. In other words, the very mindset that leaders think keeps things under control is actually holding their organizations back. It’s a trap that quietly erodes agility, innovation, and engagement by substituting genuine learning with a brittle illusion of certainty.

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“The real strategic advantage today isn’t micromanaging every detail; it’s cultivating a mindset of curiosity.”

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When control leads to burnout and disengagement

The command-and-control playbook doesn’t just put handcuffs on your team, it’s wearing you down as well. Maintaining a veneer of control (and the stress of being the sole fixer) is exhausting. Over time, driven leaders who bear this load alone start running on fumes. They skip breaks, second-guess their every decision, and lie awake at night revisiting conversations. Unsurprisingly, burnout is rampant among managers – over 53% report feeling burned out at work. This level of chronic fatigue isn’t a badge of honour; it’s a red flag. When you’re burned out, you begin making reactive choices, losing patience, and inadvertently alienating the very people you’re trying to lead. Teams under a perpetually controlling manager often respond with disengagement. Employees check their initiative at the door because they anticipate that their ideas won’t be valued. They may even emotionally disconnect as a self-defense mechanism. The tragic irony is that a leader’s desire for control – born from wanting the best results – ends up creating a stagnant, resentful atmosphere. People stop volunteering information (why bother if the boss already “knows best”?), and small issues smolder until they become crises. It’s a lose-lose cycle: the more a leader tightens their grip, the more things slip through the cracks – and the more everyone, including the leader, feels overwhelmed.

Curiosity is the mindset of modern leadership

Shifting from control to curiosity isn’t a retreat. It is a power move for the modern leader. Curiosity is a practical and powerful mindset shift that swaps the stress of always having to be right for the freedom of always learning. When you lead with curiosity, you signal to your team that it’s not only okay not to have all the answers, it’s preferable. You create a culture where exploration trumps fear, and that’s where the magic happens. 

Let’s break down the shift in four key ways:

From all-knowing to always-learning

Less than a generation ago, leaders were expected to project confidence by knowing everything. Today, the strongest leaders project humility by learning in public. Moving from an all-knowing stance to an always-learning mindset means openly admitting when you don’t have the answer and inviting others to help find it. This simple shift relieves the impossible burden of omniscience. More importantly, it models a growth attitude for the whole team. When a leader says, “I haven’t encountered this before – what are your thoughts?”, it empowers team members to contribute their expertise. Suddenly, problems become shared puzzles rather than solitary headaches. The result is a team culture where everyone feels ownership in solutions, and a leader who isn’t isolated on an island of false certainty.

Certainty feels safe – but curiosity is safer

Yes, certainty has a comforting allure. Making a definitive call can feel like strength. But in a fast-changing environment, absolute certainty is often a fragile illusion. Clinging to it can cause leaders to miss warning signs or alternative paths. Curiosity, on the other hand, might feel like venturing into the unknown but it’s actually a safer long-term bet. Why? Curious leaders ask questions and gather input, which means they catch mistakes and blind spots earlier. In fact, research shows that curiosity fosters openness and collaboration while reducing decision-making errors. Think about that: being curious doesn’t slow you down; it protects you from costly blunders. When you swap “I’m sure of it” for “What are we missing?”, you create a climate where issues come to light before they blow up. Curiosity creates psychological safety – when your team isn’t afraid to voice concerns or ideas, you’re less likely to steer into an iceberg. In short, embracing questions over absolute answers makes your leadership ship sturdier in rough waters.

Questions scale better than answers

There’s a practical reason to favour questions: answers don’t scale, but questions do. A single leader can only have so many answers – and in a complex business, their perspective will inevitably be limited. But a leader who practices curiosity equips their entire team to seek answers together. Asking great questions is like lighting many torches from one flame; it distributes insight-gathering across the organization. For example, instead of one manager dictating a plan (with everyone else quietly executing), a curious leader poses a challenge: “How could we approach this to double our impact?” Now every brain in the room is activated, not just one. This approach not only yields more creative solutions, it also builds engagement. People are more invested in outcomes they helped shape. Over time, an always-questioning team can tackle far more than an always-answering boss. The numbers back this up: teams that encourage curiosity see 34% higher team engagement which is a massive gain in collective energy and commitment. In a landscape where agility wins, a leader who scales curiosity is effectively multiplying their problem-solving capacity through others.

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“Answers don’t scale, but questions do.”

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When you go first, others follow

Leadership isn’t just assigning tasks, it also requires setting the tone. If you want a curious, resilient team, you have to start. That means showing vulnerability and curiosity at the top. Ask the questions no one expects a senior leader to ask: “Can someone explain this to me?”, “What are we not seeing here?”, and do it sincerely. When you, as a leader, model curiosity, you give permission for everyone else to drop the pretenses. Your team sees that it’s not harmful to admit uncertainty or propose an off-the-wall idea. In fact, it’s welcomed. This kind of environment builds tremendous trust. People know their leader cares more about getting it right than being right. Over time, this trust snowballs – employees start approaching you with insights and solutions unprompted, because they know you’ll listen. Remember that dismal 21% trust figure? It starts to invert when leaders consistently walk the talk on curiosity and openness. In companies where leaders lead with questions, skepticism gives way to solidarity. Courage is contagious: when you go first in showing curiosity, others are emboldened to follow, and a true learning culture takes root.

Better questions, better results

Curious leadership isn’t just a feel-good philosophy as it delivers real results. When leaders make a habit of asking better questions, they unlock improvements that would otherwise stay hidden. Think of a time when a boss asked you, “How can we do this better?” instead of telling you what to do. That simple act likely sparked a new idea or a better way forward. Leaders who prioritize questions over directives create companies that adapt and excel. They catch problems earlier, discover efficiencies, and innovate faster. The impact is tangible: when managers show genuine interest in their team’s ideas and challenges, engagement and performance skyrocket. 

• More innovation, less tunnel vision: Teams that feel safe questioning the status quo are hotbeds of innovation. By asking “What if…?” at every opportunity, they avoid the trap of “This is how we’ve always done it.”
• Stronger team ownership: When you pose problems instead of prescribing solutions, employees take ownership. Solving a puzzle together means everyone has skin in the game – and they care about the outcome.
• Faster problem-solving: A leader who asks “What’s getting in our way?” will often hear truths that a directive leader won’t. Surfacing issues early means quick fixes before they fester into major setbacks.
• Higher agility in change: Curiosity-driven teams handle change better. Leaders who continually ask “What are we learning?” help people focus on adapting, not resisting. This mindset turns uncertainty into an opportunity to evolve rather than a threat.
• Deeper engagement and loyalty: People rarely get excited about marching orders, but they do light up when their ideas matter. Invite input regularly – especially from the front lines – and you’ll see stronger buy-in and lower turnover.
• Continuous improvement: Curiosity creates a feedback loop of improvement. Teams regularly debrief by asking, “What worked? What didn’t?” This prevents complacency. Over time, small lessons compound into big gains in efficiency and quality.

When leaders ask better questions, they get better results. It’s not a coincidence, it’s cause and effect. Fostering an environment of inquiry means you directly impact metrics that matter: lower attrition, higher productivity, and, yes, healthier profitability. Better asking leads to better outcomes because problems are confronted, not concealed. The connection is clear and powerful: a curious mindset leads to concrete improvements, whereas a controlling mindset leaves potential on the table. And importantly, this shift starts with mindset, not mechanics. Fancy management tools or programs can’t compensate for a leader who isn’t genuinely curious. But when curiosity is at the core, techniques and tactics fall into place. As a leader, asking better truly leads to getting better. This means for you, your people, and your bottom line. And that’s a change that begins on the inside long before it shows on a spreadsheet.

Making curiosity a daily leadership practice

So how does this mindset shift play out in the day-to-day of leading a team? It’s not about pumping the brakes on execution, instead it’s about changing how you think and communicate while you execute. Start with your own routines. In the morning, instead of diving straight into emails, take five minutes to reflect: “What am I curious about today? What assumption can I test?” This primes your brain to look at the day’s challenges as questions, not chores. During team meetings, make it standard practice to include open-ended questions: “What’s one thing we could improve on this project?” or “Anyone see a risk here that I might be missing?” In one-on-one conversations, swap the typical status update for a curious check-in: “What’s shaping your thinking on this task?” or “Which part of this project most excites or concerns you?” These small shifts in conversation turn routine interactions into trust-building dialogues. After a big push or a tough week, lead a quick debrief by asking, “What did we learn?” You’ll be surprised how much insight comes out in a 15-minute curiosity-driven review. Importantly, practicing curiosity doesn’t slow work down – it improves the quality of thought during work. It means you as a leader are actively scanning for blind spots and opportunities in real time, rather than operating on autopilot. Even in high-stakes moments like strategy planning or hiring, a curious approach pays off. In strategy sessions, frame objectives as questions (“How might we…?”) to keep the team’s thinking expansive. When hiring, probe for candidates’ curiosity and learning habits, not just their canned answers. Over time, these practices make curiosity as routine as your morning coffee. It becomes the default lens through which you lead – and the results will speak for themselves in a team that feels heard, capable, and motivated.

How Curious as Hell helps leaders shift from control to curiosity

Making the leap from a control mindset to a curiosity mindset can feel daunting – especially if you’ve spent years being rewarded for having the answers. This is where Curious as Hell comes in with a clear point of view: growth-minded leadership isn’t built in a day, but it can absolutely be learned. Our approach is grounded in one simple belief, that leadership transformation starts with transforming your questions. We work with leaders who are tired of the old playbook and ready for a more sustainable way to succeed. The process isn’t about abstract theory; it’s about real conversations and practical adjustments. For instance, in coaching sessions we might dissect a recent tough meeting and identify where a curious question could have changed the tone. The goal is never to judge, but to illuminate a path forward – one where your values and your daily actions line up. We emphasize clarity over jargon, and self-awareness over quick fixes. By honing in on your perspective and habits, we help you gradually shift from feeling like you must drive everything, to confidently guiding and learning with your team.

The difference in leaders who embrace this shift is striking. They report feeling lighter and more focused once they stop trying to be the hero with all the answers. Instead, they become the chief question asker, and their teams respond in kind with trust, creativity, and accountability. Our role in this journey is that of a candid partner. We’re not interested in transactional, one-size-fits-all training. We’re interested in you, your context, and your growth. Together, we cut through the noise and get to the heart of what “curious leadership” means for your style and your organization. The result? Leaders who not only sound different but think different. They replace knee-jerk directives with thoughtful exploration. They align their leadership approach with the realities of today’s workplace, where complexity is high, and no one person can (or should) have all the answers. The outcome is a leadership style that feels authentic, energizing, and resilient. In partnering with Curious as Hell, leaders find their own way to shed the burden of control and step into the far more powerful role of curiosity-driven trailblazer. It’s still you, but on your best days, every day, leading with a mindset that’s built for the challenges of modern business.

Common Questions

How can I develop a leadership mindset without relying on control?

Developing a leadership mindset starts with letting go of the pressure to always be right. Instead of holding on tightly to certainty, you can reframe your role around asking questions and creating space for your team’s ideas. Curiosity shifts the focus from protecting your position to engaging with fresh thinking. At Curious as Hell, we help leaders practise this mindset daily so they gain clarity, lower stress, and see stronger outcomes.

Why does my leadership style cause my team to disengage?

When leaders default to command-and-control tactics, team members often feel sidelined and less inclined to contribute. Over time, this erodes motivation and creates a cycle of disengagement. Shifting to curiosity invites input and shows your team their perspective matters. Our approach equips you to replace control with curiosity in practical ways, leading to more trust and stronger performance.

How do I know if I am falling into a control mindset as a leader?

Warning signs include carrying the full load yourself, insisting on having the final answer, or noticing that your team rarely offers new ideas. These habits often lead to stress and missed opportunities. Practising curiosity interrupts that cycle by encouraging collaboration. At Curious as Hell, we help leaders recognise these patterns and adopt daily habits that replace control with openness and better outcomes.

What impact does curiosity have on developing my leadership mindset?

Curiosity unlocks perspectives you can’t access by relying only on your own answers. It changes conversations, sparks creativity, and makes people feel invested in outcomes. The more you ask thoughtful questions, the more resilient your team becomes. Curious as Hell provides practical tools and coaching to turn curiosity into a leadership habit that supports both your growth and your team’s results.

How can curiosity reduce leadership burnout?

Burnout often comes from carrying every burden alone and feeling pressure to solve every problem. Curiosity distributes that weight by inviting your team to share responsibility and contribute solutions. This not only relieves your stress but also increases their ownership. Our role at Curious as Hell is to help you make that shift so leadership becomes more sustainable, rewarding, and effective.

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